Other choices, other events would have led to a different
life, maybe one with more money, maybe a professionally more successful one--or
maybe not--but in any case, a life that, from my vantage point in this life, I don’t want. I didn’t have
any thoughts along those lines before my son came along, but once he did, I
found this change had occurred within me.
At the time, despite having already long been an atheist, I
saw something of the Christian idea of redemption in my experience, for the
sacrifice of Christ on the cross is said to effect a pardon for sins past and
future. The retroactive nature of what had happened was stunning.
It recently occurred to me, however, how the nature of my
experience is even more precisely described by Friedrich Nietzsche’s concept of
amor fati. This Latin phrase
literally means the love of fate and is used by Nietzsche to describe the love of
everything, not just the good, that happens. Furthermore, you don’t just tolerate the
bad, you love it, you love it all:
“Did you ever say Yes to one joy? O my friends, then you said Yes to all woe as well. All things are chained and entwined together, all things are in love; if ever you wanted one moment twice, if ever you said: ‘You please me, happiness, instant, moment!’ then you wanted everything to return! You wanted everything anew, everything eternal, everything chained, entwined together, everything in love, O that is how you loved the world . . . ” (Thus Spoke Zarathustra)
As the above passage makes clear, Nietzsche’s concept of amor fati is closely linked to that of
eternal recurrence: the belief that everything that happens will happen again
and again in exactly the same way for eternity. An analysis of eternal
recurrence isn’t necessary here, we only need note that you want the good
moments to come again, and that means affirming the not-so-good moments tangled
with them.
Have I ever said yes to one joy? Yes. When my son was born.
And there have been many moments with him since that are, as they say, worth
the world, moments that I would love to have come twice, or thrice, or
countless times for infinity. And that means wanting everything that led to
those moments and everything that stems from them.
Constantly holding on to this love of all amidst the daily
grind is not easy, probably not even possible, but despite it all, the world
has granted me a wonderful blessing that makes it possible in the precious
moments to assert and truly believe that I live in the best of all possible
worlds.
I truly agree with you John. Once one becomes a parent one usually attains a new view of things. I learned quite a bit about the duality of emotion and gained an understand of what it is to truly be human. I believe that I have a better appreciation of the good things, due to the fact that I have experienced the bad things.
ReplyDeleteIt tends to give credence to my belief that 'World Peace' is not attainable or desirable. Passion is what makes us human. Without Passion there isn't love, art, invention, ambition, etc...and you really can't appreciate these things without their opposite on the spectrum to balance them out. Who has the understanding of love without seeing hate in its ugliest form? Who appreciates creation without contributing to the destruction of what was there before? People fight for what they feel passionate about and you can't take away the passion without destroying what it is that makes us human.
That was a bit of a side note, but I thought there was a correlation, so I decided to share.
Thanks for sharing. It do get the impression that fatherhood has had quite an effect on you. It's powerful stuff. Your aside is relevant. The bad comes with the good and they can't be separated.
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